KeithFirst off, let me apologize to my friends at Evaperated for taking so long to put this review up. I spent quite a long time reviewing their products, and it took just as long to put my thoughts into words. This review has taken me over 15 hours to sum up my 70 days with the Evaperated artisan line – and I enjoyed every minute of it!
The timing of this review couldn’t have come at a better time for me – as I started this review pretty much when my son was born – and thus, not having to think about what to vape was phenomenal. I knew everyday what flavors I’d vape – and each day, I’d leave tasting notes on how the experience was.
So, without adieu… let’s get the party started. 🙂
Brand: Evaperated Artisan Canadian E-liquids
Made in: Canada
Website: www.evaperated.com
VapeDeals Listing: https://vapedeals.ca/listing/evaperated/
TL:DR: It is very clear that Evaperated Artisan has put a lot of thought, energy, and effort into not only crafting unique complex flavors – they’ve also put together a wonderfully fantastic world of vampires, werewolves, and wizardry behind their brand – which is truly appreciated. What I got from my experience from dealing with Sadie, to going through their storylines and descriptions, to tasting their flavors is that Evaperated is truly a Canadian gem.
Evaperated Artisan has many fine juices, and these are the ones that are most notable and that I will be reordering in the near future:
- Berry Crash
- Blue Sky Bitch
- Bottled Paradise
- Crassberry
- Potion of Scholars
- Potion of Time
BACKGROUND
(I will include this background in all my reviews) I think it’s important that we get context on the type of reviewer I am. I was a half a pack smoker for over 20 years. A couple of years ago, I switched to vape and have not turned back. While I was a smoker, I was a light menthol smoker (i.e. Vogue Menthols / Matinee Slim Menthol Lights).
I’m generally not a fan of cream/pastry flavors, and until recently, I ALWAYS mixed menthol into any vape flavors. I’m also a huge fan of fruity flavors, but not flavors that would over power my taste buds.
I have a wide range of experience with devices – from $20 vape pens, pod systems, sub-ohm mods, to $1000 collector devices. Overall, I’m a low maintenance vaper and prefer flavor vs clouds.
Hopefully this background helps you have an idea of my flavor palate as well as preferences – which will bias my review.
PERSONAL BIAS ALERT
I’m a huge fan of Sadie and the good folks at Evaperated. She’s been a strong supporter of the Canadian vaping community and that holds a special place in my heart. That said, she is aware that I’ll be fully transparent and report honestly about how I feel about their flavors – cuz that’s how we roll here.
METHODOLOGY
The reason I chose to do these immersive and lengthy reviews is because I’m guilty of going into a store, trying a juice and thinking I LOVED it… only to return home to realize I didn’t really enjoy the flavor and got sick of it after the first day. This pretty much happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME and which has led to my massive shelf of nearly full bottles.
So, what I have decided going forward is that I will vape the juices regardless if I like them on first try, and will try to do so extensively and let the juices that I truly love grow on me. And let me tell you, it’s worked tremendously well.
For this review, I used 6 separate devices for the 24 bottles – ranging from the Uwell Crown series (I and III) on Sigelie 213s, the iJoy Diamond PD270 kit, Avidvape Ghost RDA on Vaporesso Revenger X and Dovpo Trigger TC Box Mod. I wanted to cover a range of devices to ensure that the flavor I was getting was not device-dependent.
For 70 days or so, I vaped only Evaperated’s juices – and the following are my tasting notes and reviews.
THE HARDCORE REVIEW
Flavor: Alpha Blood
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/collections/the-lab-1/products/alpha-blood
Description: Lab testing can get… messy, to say the least. We had recently captured a werewolf (don’t ask) and it became a lab pet, so to speak. It was actually rather well behaved, until the lab techs forgot to put it in it’s ‘crate’ during a full moon, and well, it kind of destroyed the lab.
It’s a long, and rather unfortunate story. Don’t worry, the werewolf only cut itself slightly on one of the broken beakers. The result of that, however, was the creation of a new flavour. The magic in the werewolf’s blood somehow made the most delicious flavour, and if you can get past how it came about you might just LOVE it.
It’s a peary.. err, VERY pear laden flavour with hints of vanilla deep below, and caramel backgrounds that catch you right where it counts. It has just enough sweetness to make it feel like a treat, but it’s very smooth (oddly like the werewolf’s fur!) and very enjoyable.
Flavor Profile: Smooth and bold pear flavor with creamy caramel tones. This flavor is best at a 12mg or less strength.
Review: This flavor rubbed me the wrong way to start. I’m not a fan of caramel flavors and upon smelling the flavor, you get a very good whiff of caramelized something. But after putting it in my Uwell Crown III, it surprised me – the caramel complimented the pear quite well, but still wasn’t perfect for me. That was week 1.
By the second month, I had started to appreciate this flavor quite a bit – and I found that when I was using it in the RDA, the pear flavor was much more pronounced, and quite frankly, much tastier.
What I like about this flavor is that the inhale and the exhale are quite distinct – fruity, almost sour on the inhale, and creamy, almost vanilla on the exhale.
My Rating: 7/10 If you like caramelized pears – then this is perfect for you. It’s smooth, rich, and on point. I’m just not a caramelized anything kinda guy.
Flavor: Berry Crash
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/berry-crash
Description: BERRY delicious…. pun aside, there is a LOT of fruit in this one. It’s sweet, but not overpoweringly so. Very summery and refreshing, like a sweet berry juice on a hot summer’s day! This is one of those vapes that everyone is going to pull something different from as far as what is prominent and what is not. Let us know what comes through for you!
Review: As you may recall, I’m a bit of a fruit-slut. That is, I love fruit flavors: but I’d like to think that I have refined taste (lol). And Berry Crash hits the spot. It’s a complex fruit flavor that leaves you guessing on what the fruits really are. I’d also surmise that there’s more to this flavor than just berries. Sometimes, I get an almost banana flavor from it, and other times, I get a hint of candy from it. Either way, the complexity of this flavor is what I thoroughly enjoy.
The flavor’s description is apt: it’s an easy vape for the long summer day sitting on the beach or patio. I thoroughly enjoyed this flavor (and so did most people who happened to enjoy a Scotch or Caipirinha on a patio with me).
My Rating: 9/10 This is an all day vape that should be added to the fruit-lover’s rotation. If you’re up for a flavor adventure, this is a good one to try as there’s nothing really like it.
Flavor: Berry Crash
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/blue-sky-bitch
Description: BREAKING NEWS BREAKING BAD FANS!
We have created a liquid to pay our respect to one of the best shows that has ever aired on television. Our Blue Sky, Bitch should be a pretty obvious double reference to any fan of the show, but just in case you’ve never seen it… well here’s the reason it’s named this. Blue Sky is one of the names of the meth that Walt and Jesse made in the show. The ‘bitch’ part is sort of Jesse’s word. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve seen him say it, but he just says bitch so well. Basically watch the television show, bitch! (heheeeee)
All of the scientists in the lab were a bit annoyed making this one. They were ticked off by the lack of viral content, mad that we were not about to launch a juice that could cause zombie outbreaks or result in some sort of catastrophe of some kind. I had to sedate them by making them have several Breaking Bad marathons, but the result of that was every time I walk by they all say ‘biiiiiiiiiiiiitchhhhhhhhhhhh’ in a low voice. I would consider that rude, and fire them, but dammit, how can I be mad at being called bitch in honour of Jesse? I can’t. So they stay, and they work… they just work a bit harder now 🙂
Blue Sky, Bitch! Is a sweet and sour, ever changing in your mouth flavour. Sometimes the sweet will hit you, other times the sour, and sometimes it’s actually well blended and becomes just a bit tart with just a pinch of sweet for balance.
It’s raspberry and sour apple with quite a few other notes hiding just beneath the surface to help with the changing flavour profile on your palette. We really wanted this flavour to be addictive, just for that extra something that keeps it true to it’s name.
Review: OH MY GOODNESS! This flavor smells HEAVENLY. And yes, I’m taking a big whiff of this empty bottle as I’m typing this review.
This for me is a flavor I can vape all day. The bottle I received was blue (although due to new regulations, it won’t be going forward) – and thus I expected a blue Freezie flavor. But that’s certainly not what I got while tasting it. The first week I got some citrus and… some sour fruit, like raspberry. However, as the flavor aged on me, I got some blueberries and apples out of it (I swear I didn’t let the color impact my taste buds).
I liked that the flavor was complex and a melange of fruits that kept me coming back for more. This flavor was the first that I finished completely from Evaperated.
Overall, if you like a sweet, sour, smooth surprise (I’m trademarking this one) – I’d highly recommend this flavor.
My Rating: 9.5/10 Yeah, I’m copping this one again and again. If you like refreshingly sweet and sour fruit flavor – this one’s for you.
Flavor: Bottled Paradise
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/bottled-paradise
Description: This is a very summery and tropical tasting vape. Pineapple would be the major flavour note, but there are several layers of fruity flavours underneath. It is a strong flavour, fairly sweet, but not quite as sweet as candy.
Review: One has to wonder – did Evaperated specifically hire juice scientists to put together flavors for me? Because, hot damn, I love fresh, complex fruit flavors – and they keep on coming again and again with the goodness.
Candied pineapples is what you get when you open the bottle, and the inhale is exactly that. Even as I type this, “candied pineapples” sounds kindas gross to me, but trust me, they’ve done it in a very lovely way. I couldn’t put my finger on the exhale for weeks, but on week 7, I finally figured it out: white gummy bears! This flavor may be my favorite in the lineup – it’s very clean, easy to vape, smooth as f@ck, and just damned tasty.
My Rating: 9.5/10 Yet another winner from Evaperated. A fresh take on pineapples without being TOO candied with an interesting finish.
Flavor: Cloud ’69’
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/cloud-69
Description: Oh… oh my.
I can’t believe this has happened! Our weather control machine has gone on the FRITZ! It is spewing clouds in to the air faster than we can even begin to try and fix the problem! All we wanted was a slight haze, a bit of an overcast sky, so that we could conduct an outdoors experiment without the risk of a sunburn, and NOW THIS!!!
That’s not even the worst part. Oh dear… the worst part is that these clouds are… um… rather amorous. They are pairing up with each other and uh.. things are happening. Basically to put it lightly, the clouds are making more clouds. It’s a chain reaction of CLOUDS!
I fear that the entire world is going to be over taken with these EXTREMELY loving clouds. They are starting to rain, and anyone that the rain touches becomes rather fancy themselves. I have FIVE techs that are starting to make ‘the eyes’ at each other!!
And what’s worse is they are starting to drink the rain! They are frantically running around outside like mad lunatics with buckets collecting all of this rain! Apparently it tastes of ‘sweet nectar from the gods’ and ‘summery love’. EW!
THIS IS NOT GOOD! I would rather have ZOMBIES! I can deal with zombies! I can NOT deal with this much affection and romance. ROMANCE IS NOT PRODUCTIVE!!!
I must run back to the lab and try and make a fix for this before the world becomes DISGUSTINGLY sappy and lovey dovey. BLECH! IT IS A NIGHTMARE!
But I suppose this sounds fun to you guys. I SUPPOSE you want to feel amorous yourselves! GROSS. But whatever, I’ll tell you what the rain… err, ‘juice’ tastes like.
In a nutshell, semi-sweet and creamy, somewhat tangy, passionfruit and other fruity things blended in an… I hate to say it… orgy of deliciousness. I can’t believe I just said that.
Enjoy! BUT NOT TOO MUCH! *stomps foot*
Flavor Profile: This is a passion fruit flavor that is slightly tangy on the exhale, semi-sweet and creamy. A lot of people say it tastes like starburst to them, others just say it’s a candy style flavor that reminds them of ‘childhood’.
Review: For weeks I couldn’t put my finger (or tongue) on what this flavor was (Keep in mind, I don’t read descriptions of juices before I taste them – so this is the first time I’m learning about what it’s supposed to be).
For me, the aroma was almost spicy, kinda like ginger and I was not a big fan of how it hit my nose. But upon vaping it, it was certainly different from what it smelled like. The flavor is certainly unique – I’m pretty certain I’ve not tried anything like this in the years I’ve been vaping.
The inhale reminds me of a candy of some kind. I don’t taste the passionfruit – but I get some kind of citrus-y candy. The exhale is smooth and creamy.
I found myself coming back to this flavor over and over to try to figure it out, but to the very end I couldn’t get what I was tasting. The candy was yummy, but the cream just wasn’t a good fit for my profile.
One thing is for certain – if you’re up for a unique, perhaps mysterious flavor, this one takes the cake. I can see this flavor being popular among experienced vapers who have tried just about everything and need something to take their taste buds for a spin.
My Rating: 7.5/10 Incredibly unique – candied cream mystery box. Recommended for someone who is tired of trying the same flavors over and over again – I guarantee you have not tried something like this.
Flavor: Crassberry
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/crassberry
Description: Crassberry, or ‘Crackberry’ as some of our customers like to call it, is a sweet and fruity trip to party in your mouth town! Cranberry may sound like a turn off to some, but this is a complex flavor with a variety of fruits mixed in, and the cranberry is cuddling up next to the raspberry in order to make both fight for your attention!
Review: I was ecstatic just by the name of this juice. I had really high hopes even before I opened the bottle – and I wasn’t disappointed!
This flavor is absolutely cranberry, which is a fruit I thoroughly enjoy. Tart and sweet on both the inhale and exhale, yet not just a simple cranberry flavor. The Raspberry is not as pronounced as the cranberry, but is there enough to keep your berries on their toes.
This was a flavor that I knew I loved and actually had to ration it to ensure that it would last the entirety of this review. By about the 60th day, I found that the raspberry was more prominent. I’m not sure if it was because it steeped more or if the flavor’s complexity was showing itself – which is a great thing either way.
My Rating: 9.5/10 I swear I’m not an Evaperated shill. This is a great flavor for folks who love cranberries and raspberries blended together in chunks – you know what you’re getting, but every bite is a little different.
Flavor: Fangtasia
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/fangtasia
Description: Our lab techs are a tad bit obsessed with the supernatural, or so I’ve come to notice. They decided to rename the lunch room ‘Fangtasia’ after the famous bar in the television show True Blood. They even went so far as to start wearing leather lab coats, fake fangs and I’d catch them in the bathroom teasing their hair before work. It’s all rather depressing to witness, and I assure you I sympathize with the eye rolling, but I have to say that through their obsession they created a fantastic flavour.
I allowed them to name it Fangtasia because, frankly, I didn’t need to deal with them pouting and crying in to the lab equipment.
I will say that it is a very refreshing vape. It is very pear up front, with a natural orange flavour close behind it. There is a creamy side as well, which makes it smooth, yet it retains the crispness that you would expect from a fresh fruit.
It’s actually one of my favourites, but please for the love of all that is good in this world… don’t tell them that.
Flavor Profile: This is a brother to ‘Alpha Blood’ in that it is a bold pear flavor up front, with back notes of citrus orange in the back. It’s creamy with a slight throat hit. Does best at 12mg strength or less.
Review: After I tried this flavor, I’ve come to realize that I don’t enjoy creamy pear flavors. As described, this is truly the sibling of Alpha Blood – which is another creamy pear flavor.
The aroma and inhale of this flavor is very similar to Alpha Blood, however, I kinda get a buttery smell from the bottle. The exhale is where the difference lies from Alpha Blood. I couldn’t put my finger on it in the first month, but by the second month, there was a hint of citrus notes on the exhale.
The flavor has a creamy vanilla undertone throughout the vape, which is something that I do not enjoy (it’s not in my palate).
My Rating: 7/10 If you like Alpha Blood, you’ll like this flavor as well. A creamy pear flavor with a hint of vanilla and citrus. Unfortunately, cream and vanilla are both flavors I don’t enjoy.
Flavor: Frost
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/frost
Description: This is a good vape for any menthol lover. There is a slight hint of tobacco goodness underneath a very prominent COLD spearmint flavour. Great for a refreshing change to your every day flavors.
Review: As a former menthol light smoker, I wasn’t sure how I’d like this. As it’s been years, the taste of tobacco is no longer something I enjoy – at the same time, will this bring back fond memories of Benson & Hedges Menthol Lights?
Upon opening the bottle, the tobacco smell was slightly overwhelming. I kinda expected more menthol than tobacco and was taken aback. Upon vaping, the tobacco flavor is also not what I’m used to – it’s kinda exotic, very earthy and pungent. But after vaping this over 9 weeks, the flavor grew on me.
I’d compare this flavor more to a menthol cigar than a menthol cigarette – and if that’s your thing, then this one’s for you.
My Rating: 7.5/10 My days of enjoying tobacco flavors are over; but if you’re looking for a good mix of menthol and a unique tobacco flavor, then I’d recommend this flavor for you.
Flavor: Frost’s Breath
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/frostys-breath
Description:
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lab,
Not a creature was stirring, except for McNab.
McNab is a tech that likes to run tests,
Weird, scary or odd, he tries to impress.
However, this night while it was snowing,
He got a thought in his head from the chilly winds blowing.
‘A SNOWMAN IN A BOTTLE!’ he thought to himself,
He threw on his coat, grabbed bottles from the shelf.
Out in to the night, he fled like a shadow,
Grabbing snow from far corners of a meadow.
Upon returning, he toiled through the night,
No one around, not another tech in sight.
The essence of winter was perfected by morning,
‘Frosty’s Breath’ he whispered just before he started snoring.
A very cold, very candy cane, very minty and VERY fresh flavor with just a -hint- of chocolate way in the back that reminds me just slightly of minty hot chocolate on the exhale. However, the candy cane is prominent, but we don’t do basic very well. This flavor, like all of our others, is complimented nicely by undertones of that ‘something else’ that keeps you guessing.
Flavor Profile: Frosty’s breath is basically heaven in a bottle. It is cold, it is candy cane, it is slight chocolate. It is like drinking a candy cane hot chocolate or sucking on an after eight mint. If you are scared of mints or menthols I STILL recommend this one to try at least once. Many have found their long lost ADV in this flavor, myself included.
Review: Now this is a menthol flavor I can get behind. Opening the bottle you get a fresh splash of peppermint to your nose – and yet not too much menthol
The inhale is absolutely like a candy cane, and the exhale is… complex. I didn’t quite get chocolate out of it (which I’ve just discovered from the description just now), but it’s certainly a different kind of earthy sweet than the inhale. This is a clean and well-made juice. Simple enough for straight menthol lovers to enjoy, yet it has just the right amount of complexity so that you don’t get bored of the flavor.
My Rating: 8.5/10 One of the better candy menthols I’ve had in years.
Flavor: Hannibal Nectar
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/hannibal-nectar
Description: It puts the liquid in the basket…
Oh my, I thought my lab technicians were slacking lately. It’s been a bit quiet these days, and no earth shattering ordeals have happened. I was enjoying the serenity! Even our Resident werewolf, Mr. Pickles, was behaving!
But no. NO, no no. Serenity doesn’t last, or is a figment of my imagination I suppose, because BEHOLD, they HAVE been working on something and it is rather disturbing.
It seems they had created some sort of device that completely removes fictional characters from a movie and makes them real. This is extremely dangerous! I mean, it could be fun if they used it to bring a character in to our world that is nice, helpful, a super hero… SOMETHING. ANYTHING but who they chose.
They chose Hannibal Lecter of ALL people. WHY?! WHY DO THEY DO THIS!?
They said they wanted to bring in the ‘smartest fictional character they could think of’. I scoffed at their choice. Yes he is smart, but he’s BAD smart. He’s EVIL smart. NOT GOOD SMART! For crying out loud, this was the worst choice!
So I immediately panicked and asked where they put him. They said they put him in holding cell number 13, which is in between our resident werewolf and Patient ‘Zero’.
I walked in to the holding cell wing and immediately heard sounds like slurping, followed by a sinister whisper saying ‘Well Mr.Pickles – have the lambs stopped screaming?’
Mr.Pickles started licking his chops at the thought of lambs, and Patient ‘Zero’ started banging at the glass telling me he wanted a new neighbor.
I walked back to the main laboratory and began demanding answers. They all told me to shut up and try their new serum before I completely fell off of my proverbial wagon. ‘What serum!?’ I bellowed.
They shoved a bottle of something that smelled remarkable in front of my face. ‘THIS one, this serum right here that will cure all homicidal lunatics of their homicidal ways simply by vaping this sweet sweet nectar!’
Skeptical, I grabbed the vial from their hands and vaporized the drops of liquid over a burner, breathing in the steamy sweet deliciousness that came from it.
I suddenly felt calm. Happy. I wanted to run through a field and pick daisies while I sang ‘We are the World’ at the top of my lungs.
How could I argue with this result? Maybe through bringing a complete madman in to the world they have cured the world’s worst problem… violence!
So we all named it together, and Hannibal Nectar was born.
If you want to know what it tastes like, think of those cookies called peek freans (the creamy ones with the red circle of jelly in top) and then imagine one of those in lemon form, with that raspberry punch!
Flavor Profile: Hannibal is a lemon cookie with icing in the middle and raspberry drizzle on the top. It is semi-sweet, slightly tart and VERY creamy and smooth. There is a LOT of flavor in this guys, so even at a max vg ratio you wont get more than 60% VG in this puppy. However, it has many dripping and sub ohm fans that have zero problems chasing clouds with it. Lab Note: This flavor tastes different in a dripper than it does in a tank. In a dripper you will taste more cookie, more lemon and icing/cream. In a tank like an Aspire, you will taste more raspberry and more ‘nectar’ goodness.
Review: On the nose, this flavor smelled like a lemon dessert of some kind – which left me at odds of course. Love lemons, hate desserts. That said, the aroma was not offensive to me – and dare I say it, it was actually quite delectable.
And thus of course, I had to taste this ASAP.
What is interesting is that I found that my experience with the juice very different in my tanks then when I dripped it. I literally had to check my notes to confirm I’m tasting the same flavor: I seriously thought I was going crazy because it tasted so different. And after reading the flavor profile, I now understand why. The experiences are indeed quite different depending on your weapon of choice.
In a tank, the citrus was much more pronounced. I don’t think I’ve ever had a lemon cookie before – but if there’s such a thing (which I’m sure there is), this is exactly what I imagine it tastes like. Lemon on the inhale, cookie on the exhale. In the RDA, the raspberry is well-balanced with the citrus and with a similar cookie exhale.
Evaperated once again surprised me with a flavor that was not quite in my palate, yet managed to get me coming back to this one over and over again.
My Rating: 8/10 A very good fruity dessert flavor, especially for citrus lovers. Great for people who get bored of flavors easily. I’d love to know what you taste when you try this flavor – and if you have the same experience as I do.
Flavor: Mana Biscui
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/mana-biscuit
Description:
Once upon a time there was a dusty old cookie jar sitting on top of a dusty old shelf, in a dusty old room at the top of a dusty old wizard’s tower.
One day, a little dragon flew in to the window at the top of this tower, and he thought to himself, ‘wow… a cookie jar… there MUST be cookies in there!’, and he grabbed the jar and flew away with it, eager to break in and see what was inside.
This dragon happened to land in our lab when we had the windows open. He crashed in, landed on the floor and the cookie jar went flying across the room. We were all startled. A DRAGON, a real dragon had come to visit us. The poor thing looked startled and afraid, and his little nostrils were smoking.
‘THERE IS A VERY STRICT NO SMOKING POLICY HERE SIR!’ yelled one of my lab techs at this little creature. The dragon backed up, and spread his wings as if he was about to fly off. Me, being a quick thinker, lunged for the cookie jar and offered it to him as a peace offering. I didn’t think it would work, but dragons must really love cookies because he came walking over and snatched the jar from my hands. He took the jar to the corner of the room and started to eat every cookie inside.
We decided to make a juice flavour in his honor, because those must have been some AMAZING cookies.
Mana Biscuit is a cinnamon sugar cookie flavour with hints of vanilla. It is smooth and relaxing, and smells delicious when vaped!
(No dragons were harmed in the making of this juice. The little guy pays us regular visits, bringing us all sorts of treats and trinkets he has found scattered around some magical realm he lives in)
Flavor Profile: Mana Biscuit has become one of our signature flavors. It is a semi-sweet cinnamon sugar cookie that is extremely smooth and silky to vape. If you are worried about cinnamon flavors, don’t! This one is very well blended and the cinnamon is more like a back note that really doesn’t take center stage. It’s more noticeable at higher watts, but never becomes overpowering and it has no throat hit at lower strengths.
Review: See, this is a great example of why I do not read the descriptions of juices I review. Those who know me (or have read my previous reviews) know that I hate cinnamon with a passion. And biscuits? Absolutely NOT.
However, I am a hardcore nerd at heart. Yes, I play Magic: the Gathering religiously, have more RPG experience than I’d care to admit, and love video games that use mana. And thus, Mana Biscuit had me at odds with myself before I even tasted it. I know I don’t like desserts, but I’m a sucker for mana, lol
And you know what? This juice was a pleasant surprise! This is a dessert flavor that’s not overpoweringly cinnamon. Light enough that I can actually vape this all day – and there were a couple of days when I was at a hospital and this was the only flavor I had with me – and you know what? It was delightful.
The inhale is like a sugar cookie and the exhale is a very light cinnamon – kinda reminded me of cookies I’d eat at Christmas gatherings.
I don’t normally vape desserts, but I’d have no problem ordering this one again.
My Rating: 8/10 A light cinnamon sugar cookie flavor – great for folks who don’t want overpowering dessert flavors.
Flavor: Meloncholy
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/meloncholy
Description: Dear outside world;
I’ve been locked away in the far reaches of the lab for days… weeks… maybe months. I have no concept of time anymore. The only thing that makes me notice time is passing at all is the rising and setting of the sun, and Mr. Pickles with his full moon cycles.
All of my techs are depressed. All of them have scattered off to their own corners, mumbling things and writing notes, only to toss the notes to the floor around them. It’s as if they are trying to bury themselves in their work, but nothing is being produced… no progress is being made.
Mr. Pickles has been very quiet as well, save for the full moon thing… but he sleeps a lot, only to wake once in a while to scratch a flea, growl at one of the other experiments…err… patients, or to tell me he is hungry.
I’m not certain what has come over the lab and it’s inhabitants. Not sure what’s come over me. I feel as if nothing is worth anything anymore. Our research is suffering for this malaise, but I just can’t will myself to try. I can’t think. I can’t do anything other than sit here and ponder life and what is in store for us all.
I tried to think back to what started this black cloud over our heads down here in the lab, to find a common thread in our routines before this hit. All I can think about is the one day when one of my techs came in saying we don’t eat properly, and that she had brought us some fruit.
She opened up a basket and it was full of green melons and watermelon slices. We -all- ate some of it and then…
We all got ‘meloncholy’, if I may play on words.
Well, I just answered the riddle. Now to find energy to drag myself down to the rest of them and let them know what the source of the problem is, and then to TRY and convince them to stop sulking and work on a cure.
Maybe I’ll just sit here a little longer and wait for inspiration.
Flavor Profile: Very fresh AND refreshing melon flavor! It tastes like honey dew melons mixed with fresh watermelon. It is extremely smooth to vape and is not overpowering in any one note.
Review: Here’s the thing. I’ve tasted a bazillion melon flavors before – and quite frankly, most have left me wanting more. The melon flavors we typically taste are very synthetic and candy-like, reminding me of the Asian melon candies that I’m so sick of; and almost always leaving me disappointed. And thus, when I picked up this bottle and saw the name, I was pretty certain I was going to hate it.
And boy was I wrong! I have to say the name for this flavor is absolutely appropriate. It’s got this nonchalant melon flavor – I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s wonderful for those cloudy, lazy days when you don’t want to do anything but just lying on your lawn chair and kick it back with your beverage of choice and an unassuming but tasty vape.
The inhale and exhale are honeydew through and through with hints of watermelon throughout. That said, this is unlike the candy melons we get all the time – it’s actually quite natural and not too sweet. Absolutely an all day vape.
My Rating: 8.5/10 A great melon flavor for them melancholy days.
Flavor: Nevermore
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/nevermore
Description:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I cowered, meek and weary,
Over many a cracked and dirty tiles upon the floor—
While I trembled, nearly crying, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my prison’s door.
“’Tis some lab tech,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”
It was a stormy night. The wind was tearing the trees outside the lab to pieces while the rain did it’s best to drown the world. Mr. Pickles, for such a staunch and seemingly brave fellow, was curled up shivering in his cell, afraid of the crashes of thunder that followed the briefly illuminating flashes of lightening every few minutes.
The night was growing old and tired, a mere few hours remained before the sun would put it to rest. However it was the longest night of the wolf’s life. Never had he felt so alone. Never had he longed for company, even the dreaded lab techs that made many attempts per day to bathe him in that acrid smelling flea shampoo. Anyone would do, anything would have been better than suffering through this night alone.
Pickles shuddered, his fur trembling atop his thick skin, making him seem more like a lost puppy than a grown werewolf. His eyes glanced over the cell floor, slowing counting the cracks in the tiles to keep his mind focused on anything other than the fact another crash of thunder was coming, and soon.
He was on crack 79 when he heard a ‘tap tap tapping’. His ears perked and turned towards the sound. He didn’t want to look in case he didn’t like what he saw.
‘Tap tap tap’ came the noise again, only this time it was followed by words; ‘who is that I see a’laying on the floor?!’
Pickles jumped up to his feet and stared towards the sound. As his eyes found a small shadow perched in the iron bar window of his cell, the lightening flashed and for a second he saw a black figure of a bird, shining with wetness from the rain.
‘WHO ARE YOU?’ he bellowed. ‘What do you want?’
The bird tapped his beak on the window ledge and proclaimed ‘I need some shelter, nothing more! Provide me shelter, from this weather, and we will be together evermore! You shall be alone nevermore!’
Pickles pondered this. A … a raven? Yes it was a raven… a cliche raven straight out of a Poe poem, here to… be his companion? It couldn’t hurt could it? Just one night… maybe two, to kill the loneliness.
‘Fine bird. You may enter, and I will not eat you, but you have to stop smacking your beak on everything or I will break that promise! And you need a name otherwise the techs will give you one and you will not like it. -I- am going to call you Poe, because you are… well should be obvious’
The raven gently flew down in to the cell, finding a perch on the shoulder of the gruff and tuff werewolf. Not much was said after that. Both creatures were tired, cold and very happy to have a friend to see them through the rest of the night. Pickles curled back up in his corner, while the Raven hunkered down in to his fur, making a bed and falling in to a dreamless sleep.
Flavor Profile: NEVERMORE is best described as a warm apple fritter. The glaze of the fritter comes out more at higher wattages. It’s not overly sweet but does have a sweet nature playing around with the other notes of apple and cinnamon. The flavour of the actual fritter dough mingles with the rest to provide you with a flavour that is rich and comforting.
Review: The name of this flavor didn’t quite give away what it’s supposed to be – so I approached it with an open mind. Upon opening the bottle, I smelled a rich, light dessert. Rich in that it was not your typical pie or cake aroma, but light enough that it didn’t automatically make me hate the flavor (since I don’t like dough flavors).
Fresh apples are evident on the inhale – which was a huge surprise to me. I didn’t smell the apples before I vaped it, so it was quite refreshing to take it in. The exhale is when I tasted the pie – and it was clear as day. This was a pretty interesting take on apple pies – and it was spot on. And it tastes like fresh, home-made apple pie vs store-bought apple pies (which typically taste more candied). It still had the tangy and not overly sweetened apple flavor, which was pretty awesome.
There was also a very light sprinkle of cinnamon in the flavor – which was just about the maximum amount of cinnamon I can take, lol.
My Rating: 8/10 If you enjoy fresh, home-made apple pies, this may be the one for you.
Flavor: Outbreak
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/outbreak
Description: The lab technicians have created a new virus. We are not sure what it does yet so we require some test subjects. So far the virus seems to cause rabid happiness inside of the mouth, leading to strange noises of joy, reminiscent of a squealing pig, as well as uncontrollable urges to say words like ‘OMG’ and ‘YUM’ and other such primitive things.
We fear that this will spread if released to the general public, and so we are looking for a small and very controlled group of subjects to test this virus so we can better study the effects.
We have had no negative reactions yet, and if that happens we will deal with it as it comes and if need be, destroy this new experiment forever.
The lab technicians say it smells of creamy strawberries, or possibly even Campino candies… very sweet and creamy? For a virus? Okay lab techs… maybe you ingested some yourself hmm?
YOU be the judge, if you dare. Let us know how this effects you!
Flavor Profile: This flavor puzzles some! It is a lighter strawberry, semi-sweet with a smooth creamy nature. It’s a tad on the bakery side of things as it has a touch of vanilla cake lurking around that some either taste or do not.
Review: I absolutely love the smell of this juice – it’s just so pleasant on the nose. Scents of light strawberries and a bouquet of something flowery.
The inhale of the juice was just at it smelled – a very light strawberry with a little something else. And after two months with this juice, the closest I could come to is flowers of some kind. The exhale is a vanilla dessert of some kind, which didn’t quite fit my profile.
Overall, I enjoyed the nose and the inhale of the flavor, and just wish that that the exhale was sans vanilla.
My Rating: 6.5/10 A light, strawberry dessert flavor that can be an easy all-day-vape for folks who enjoy light fruit desserts. I’m just not a fan of desserts.
Flavor: Patient ‘Zero’
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/patient-zero
Description: Oh now, what have we here?
This tag says “Patient ‘Zero'” and of course, everything has a back story doesn’t it? Yes, yes it does.
Those that keep up with our lab blog know of this flavor and how it came to pass. But if you haven’t, and you don’t know… well, this is the story.
One of our scientists came in to the lab with a HUMAN subject after I had asked him to bring something NON human. Preferably something like a zombie, or something just as unfortunate so that we could happily test on it and not feel terrible. However, this human had asked to be used as a test subject as he had some sort of nasty virus and was hoping we could cure him. That wasn’t really our intention, and not really something we needed as a curve in our plans for the experiment we wanted to run, but we are MEN AND WOMEN OF SCIENCE, and well, challenge accepted.
We have a rule in the lab not to name things we are testing on. We end up getting too attached to them, and they wind up as ‘pets’ at our lab. Please see exhibit A: The werewolf, Mr.Pickle. A rather nasty pet, but we named him and now we have a flea problem on our hands.
So this man became known as Patient ‘Zero’, and our hard work began on trying to do two things; Cure him, and also run our own experiment. The result was a combination of his virus turning in to a sort of… ‘custard disease’. He had a pungent and delicious smell, tasted amazing (don’t ask how we came to know this please, some information must stay in the lab), and yet he had a terrible cough, his skin looked terrible and when he talked it sounded like he was under water.
We created a serum that cured him of all of these ailments, but the serum itself had that same sweet and delicious smell and taste. One of our technicians likes to vape while he works (much more preferable than whistling in my very not so humble opinion) and he accidentally dripped some of Patient ‘Zero’s serum in to his atomizer. He began vaping it and his eyes lit up like a child’s eyes at Christmas, and he began to say ‘ahhhhhh’ in a very high pitched and whiny tone.
I didn’t think he would be okay, but he looked so HAPPY. I ran over as any semi-concerned boss would do, and to my surprise he thrust his mod (much less dirty than it sounds) at me and demanded I vape it. My curiosity prevailed and I took a large pull off of it, fully expecting to die, or catch the custard disease. NOTHING HAPPEND but pure delight. A sense of amazement and wonder came over me, and I too became giddy with glee, expecting Santa to walk in to the lab at any moment with an armload full of presents!
From that moment we knew that this was to become a new flavor in our store of bewilderment and wonder! Patient ‘Zero’ would be our signature custard vape.
Finally.
Enjoy it Earthlings! And we hope you don’t catch the custard disease like our dear old Patient ‘Zero’ (who is still living at the lab by the way)
Flavor Profile: Patient ‘Zero’ is our signature custard flavor. It is very vanilla custard but also leans towards a bit of a vanilla pudding to some of my customers. It’s smooth and rich and blends well with other flavors of ours; like Mana Biscuit for example.
Review: I need to stress that I’m not a dessert / custard / vanilla vaper. And thus, when I opened the bottle, it felt like I was bombarded with a fresh bag of Werther’s Original Candies (you know, the bag of caramel candies that everyone buys from Costco).
And right away, I knew I would have troubles going through this flavor.
To be honest, I found it difficult to vape in the beginning as I truly dislike the flavor profile. But this wouldn’t be a Hardcore Review if I didn’t vape this at least once a week!
And after 2 months with this flavor, I can say that Patient ‘Zero’ is a very rich, smooth, and aromatic caramel / vanilla / custard flavor. I shared the flavor with some of my friends who enjoy custards – and they thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, one of my close friends asked if he can take the bottle when I’m done the review – so that’s gotta tell you something.
If anything, this flavor embodies everything that I do not enjoy, and thus, I can confidently say that if you like desserts, vanilla, custards, or caramel – this is the flavor for you.
My Rating: Unrated. It would just be unfair for me to provide a rating to a flavor that is made with ingredients that I simply do not enjoy.
Flavor: Potion of Lunacy
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/potion-of-luncay
Description: A potion of lunacy? What does that entail one might ask. Well, we witches in the coven work under supervision most of the time. Our boss doesn’t yet trust us not to explode her precious laboratory, so she often has Pickles the flea ridden PEST of a werewolf sitting in our quarters watching us very closely.
With the constant supervision, we find it slightly aggravating and very hard to do any of our OWN experimenting. We have many rituals to attend to, and many things to learn as you never stop expanding your abilities in our world. ‘The boss’ doesn’t enjoy the fact that we require the freedom for these things, so we must be secretive and coy as we go about our dealings.
My second in command, Grizelda, came to me with an idea to create a potion to put in the werewolf’s water bowl. She said that if we turned him temporarily mad he would disturb the science lab for several hours, taking their attention away from us, and put it all on containing him.
Being that it is a magical brew, there is nothing their science can do to stop it. It has to wear off the werewolf (that was intentionally punny) on it’s own. This 3-4 hour bout of pure lunacy in Pickles would allow us to get some much needed witch business done.
I’m sure in time they will come to us to commission a potion to counter this, as we are so well behaved they would never think it was us that did this to him in the first place. At that point, I’m certain we will have a counter potion that creates another problem to keep them busy for a while.
Now that we have created this, my mind is filling up with ideas of how else it can be used. It COULD be dangerous, but we put a ‘counter violence’ spell in it so that it’s more of a hysteria effect than a violent one. But things take different to each being. Perhaps some extra experimenting needs to be done with others in the laboratory…
Flavor Profile: This isn’t PIE. This is the baked apple and pear GOO in the FILLING of a pie. Notes of apples, pear and caramel come through and change, almost magically.
Review: Upon opening this bottle, I first thought it smelled like apple pie – which, as you must have surmised by now, is not my cup of tea. That said, I actually had to take a second and third whiff of the juice as it smelled very different from your traditional apple pie. If anything, it was much more apple and a lot less pie… if that makes sense.
Also, I swear that I wrote this down before reading the description just now: I actually wrote “apple pie filling?” on my tasting notes.
The inhale is just like the aroma – apple pie filling, and the exhale is when you get the hints of caramel and a bit of the pie.
As a fruit-lover, this was a very interesting experience for me, and something I enjoyed through and through. Of note, this tasted even better on the second month and towards the end of my review.
Overall, this was a very unique twist on the traditional apple pie flavor, and definitely incredible on the delivery.
My Rating: 8/10. This flavor tastes EXACTLY as described – apple pie filling. Incredible.
Flavor: Potion of Scholars
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/copy-of-potion-of-scholars-formerly-omega
Description: Sometimes beings are not born with ‘smarts’, as they say. Everyone has strengths in certain areas, sure, but brains aren’t always one of them for some.
In the lab we insist that our techs are not only smart, but brilliant. In order to do the kinds of experiments we must perform on a daily basis, the mind must be sharp, logical, cunning and quick. One tech in particular HAD all of these things. A series of very unfortunate… substance circumstances… led him down the path mindlessness. Once one of our best had become our worst, sitting in the far corners of the lab counting how many fingers he had and then laughing to himself.
It was a problem. He was the head of research for the creature department. Without his attention to crittery detail, our future meddling in to the supernatural world of mythical beings would be bleak and pointless.
We brought the witches to the lab for this, and many other, reasons. But this was on our top priority list. We needed to make this tech smart again. Science wasn’t able to do it. The more science we threw at him in the form of vials, serums, compounds and anything else we could come up with, the less grey matter he seemed to possess. Only magic could save him, and our creature department.
The first day the witches were here we put them to work on this. It took them a few weeks, but when they returned to our science department, they held a glowing beacon of hope in their hands.
‘A Potion of Scholars’ is what read on the bottle. The witches informed me that one sip of this potion would restore his genius mind, as well as give him a higher level of brilliance than he had before.
Of course… there would be extra of this potion left. And of course… a little spiked coffee hand delivered to my techs in the morning following wouldn’t hurt. Would it?
Flavor Profile: A candy infused lemonade with hints of cotton candy in the background to keep it fluffy and magical. It’s semi-sweet, yet tart, and has a complexity that keeps your mouth happy all day long.
Review: Now this is my jam. I love fresh. I love citrus. And I love lemonades. And upon opening the bottle, it smelled like someone had just opened a fresh bottle of pink lemonade right under your nose. You can almost feel the drops hit your upper lip – I shit you not (or maybe that was the juice getting on me, lol).
The inhale is a fresh lemonade and just makes you go “ahhhhhhh”, while the exhale almost feels like a pink lemonade of some kind. There’s a sweetness that goes with the tartness. The closest I could get to it was a sweet … almost grapefruit taste. I didn’t get the cotton candy as described, but frankly, I love this flavor as it is.
This is one of those flavors that I loved waking up to and had with me on the long commute to work.
My Rating: 9.5/10. Like lemonades with a sweet twist? This one’s for you.
Flavor: Potion of Time
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/potion-of-time
Description: Once upon a time…
Okay, okay, that was a a bit too much for a beginning to a story about a potion of time, right? Ehhhhh, let’s go with it.
Once upon a time, there was a coven of witches tucked away deep within an old forest. They toiled over their caldron, night after night, as they aged and aged. They would stare in to each other’s faces, sorrowful at the lines that were appearing around their eyes, their mouths. Their skin becoming loosened and grey. Their hair, wispy and thin, losing pigmentation and turning to a color similar to the silvery ash left after paper burns. Decades went by as the witches perfected their spells, dedicated to their craft and determined to carry on and perfect that which their ancestors had started. The ultimate goal was uncertain, but what was certain is that eventually their library of spells would rival that of the underworld, and perhaps surpass it.
The problem with this, and with many things in life, is that age catches up to everyone. The witches were becoming physically weak, the toll of their past was catching up to them and they could feel the end lurking just out of reach. They knew they had to do something to stop it… reverse it. And so they began working on a Potion of Time. A potion so powerful they could control time itself, turning back the clock, making it move forward, or even pausing it entirely.
It took the witches almost seven years to create the potion. Very little sleep, very little of anything else but working tirelessly over their cauldron and working with their ritual items and tomes from their library. By the end, they were almost in the grave, but Grizelda, Hilda and Tilandra succeeded, and the Potion of Time was realized.
Sipping deeply of the elixir, each taking their turn, one by one the lines on their faces faded away to reveal smooth skin. Their hair lengthening, regaining its natural color and becoming silky and soft. Youth was coming back, they could feel it in their bones, their muscles, their minds and within minutes, they were young again.
Word spread through tight channels about this potion. Far away, a lab armed with a werewolf and several other creatures, both hideous and beautiful, contacted the witches by a ragged raven (that said ‘NEVERMORE’ way too much!) clutching a note. The note was offering a safe haven for their coven. A place where they could live out their immortal lives for the small favor of creating magical potions for the laboratory when science failed.
The witches, armed with their Potion of Time, made haste to accept the offer as they were far too exposed in their forest now that their powers were known to those both good, and evil.
Flavor Profile: If you love fuzzy peach candies, but want something even better and more tantalizing in your mouth, this potion will be there for you giving your magical notes of deliciousness for all… time. See what we did there?
Review: Once again, Evaperated is spot on with the description. Upon opening the bottle, it smells exactly like cracking open a bag of them fuzzy peaches you buy for those road trips at the highway gas station. Even without reading the description, even before tasting the juice, I knew EXACTLY what this flavor was – which is pretty impressive.
What’s even more impressive was the taste. The inhale was actually not as sweet as the aroma – it was certainly fuzzy peach, but it wasn’t as sweet as the candy (which is a good thing). But as you take in the flavor, the sour candy comes in, and dare I say a bit of tartness.
Truth be told, I don’t like fuzzy peach candies. My wife buys it for every road trip and I always skip them until all the other goodies are done. But Potion of Time tastes to me like what Fuzzy Peaches 2.0 SHOULD taste like – and nailed it.
This flavor is one that I can return to again, and again, and again.
My Rating: 9.5/10. Yes, another keeper for me – even as someone who dislikes the Fuzzy Peach candies – this just tastes so good.
Flavor: Rapple
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/rapple
Description: Raspberries and apples make for a flavour that is a party in your mouth. This liquid is very tasty, on the sweet side, and very smooth.
Review: This is, of course, right up my alley. How can one ever go wrong with raspberries and apples? I thoroughly enjoyed the flavor as it’s a well-blended mix of the two fruits – leaning more towards the raspberry side.
Interestingly, as I have been so accustomed to the ultra-complex and at-times mysterious flavors by Evaperated, Rapple was perhaps surprising in its simplicity. And thus, even though it’s right up my alley, I’ve become so accustomed to their other flavors that this one comes up a little short.
And coincidentally, even the description of the juice is not as robust as the other juices in their lines. Perhaps this was one of their earlier juices?
That said, as a raspberry apple flavor – this one is dead on. I found that when I was a bit tired of vaping all the other complex juices, I’d go back to this flavor almost as a palate cleanser. It’s simple, clean, and you always know what to expect.
My Rating: 8/10. Simple, well-balanced raspberries and apples.
Flavor: Sinister Grape
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/sinister-grape
Description: Everyone loves grapes. That was what my lab techs thought when they started working away trying to come up with a juice that would make every grape lover happy. They toiled away night after night, lab sounds of bubbling beakers and bunsen burners filled the air, as did a sweet sweet aroma of… grapes? Every time I checked in with them, they were hard at work, and this was one that I was very excited to try.
Little did I know they were also playing with, what they call, ‘mystery berries’. These were something that they had been growing in secret, and all they would tell me is ‘they are good’. I’m not sure if I trust my techs after the werewolf fiasco, but they do manage to come up with some pretty amazing things despite all of the carnage and outbreaks, so mystery berries it was.
FINALLY they brought me a sample. What I saw in the bottle though, was.. well, not sellable. There were little animated grapes inside, angrily trying to get out and do unimaginable things to us all.
‘THIS WILL NOT DO!’ I yelled.
‘I CAN NOT HAVE VIOLENT GRAPES INSIDE BOTTLES! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!’
The techs snatched the bottle and shrank back to the lab, obviously terrified at my great power and … I mean, they happily went back to work after I politely, and very diplomatically, asked them to fix the problem.
After a few more days, they brought me the.. um… remains of the violent grapes, all blended in to a smooth and clear grape and ‘mystery berry’ flavored liquid.
After vaping ten gallons of it all to myself, I decided that this was defiantly an experiment gone right, and I have placed it here for all of you to enjoy… at your own risk.
Flavor Profile: Sinister Grape is very grape with hints of raspberry and cream. It’s sweet and juicy and very smooth. It packs a nice throat hit at 12mg or higher for those of you wanting that throat hit fix.
Review: Interestingly, the day before I cracked open Sinister Grape, I purchased a bottle of Kool-Aid drops – and you guessed it, in grape. And thus, after a day of drinking Grape Kool-Aid, you can say that my taste buds were pretty tuned to what a grape flavor should taste like.
Upon opening the bottle, you get a light scent of grape – but definitely one that reminds you of a grape Kool-Aid or pop of choice. On the inhale, the Kool-Aid grapeness is there, but not as strong as one would expect (or hope). On the exhale though, is when you get a slightly different grape – which kinda reminded me of a grape Freezie (you’d think that they taste the same – how are they not????).
There was also a little something extra on the exhale that I didn’t so enjoy – almost like a cream soda flavor.
I had two observations with this juice:
- It definitely needs to be steeped. It tasted more and more grape-y through the 70 days – and on the last day, it tasted much better than when I first tried it.
- This juice goes through coils relatively quickly. For me, the juice went through a coil twice a week on my Uwell Crown I, whereas most of the Evaperated juices lasted me closer to a week/week and a half or until I swapped them out for new flavors.
- This juice tastes A LOT better in an RDA than in a tank.
My Rating: 6.5/10. Overall, this is an interesting take on grape juices – which somehow was able to combine a grape drink with a grape Freezie flavor. That said, I’m not a fan of cream soda – which is a tasting note that I got while vaping this.
Flavor: Something Wicked
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/something-wicked
Description: SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES!
No, SERIOUSLY! It’s coming, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
*hides in a closet full of lab coats and peeks out through the slats*
Oh boy… Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. They’ve REALLY done it this time! It’s one thing to mess around with scientifically injecting (layman’s terms) personality traits in to things, but it’s completely on another level to inject fruit with malicious feelings.
Yes, I said it. My techs have been injecting FRUIT with MALICE. We now have a rampaging strawberry freely destroying the lab in search of prey. It keeps muttering things about putting us in bowls topped with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. I think they put some sarcasm sauce in with whatever serum they used for this… experiment.
I can’t even ask them what they were thinking because they are all either eaten alive by this crazed and GIANT strawberry, or they are hiding somewhere in the lab.
I can see it’s red eyes searching every shadow in there, I can smell it’s alluring scent of ripeness which it is, almost effectively, using to bring it’s prey out of hiding with an uncontrollable urge to eat it, and then WHAM! BOOM! Strawberry attack!! GONE SCIENTISTS!
I’m not falling for this. I will just stay here in the lab coat ocean and wait for it to either eat itself in to a napping state, or hopefully, until the serum wears off.
If only I could free Mr.Pickles. I TOLD the lab techs to make a remote control for his holding cell, but they didn’t want to in case one of them accidentally hit the ‘open door’ button by accident while it was in a pocket. Apparently they have common sense with everything other than what they are doing for an experiement.
… oh god… it’s looking this way…
It’s… sniffing? HOW DOES A STRAWBERRY SNIFF THINGS!? This is insanity! It’s… licking it’s lips? IT HAS LIPS?! This is worse than I thought! I thought it was just somehow absorbing food through it’s outer layer somehow, but no… they GAVE IT LIPS! A MOUTH! A NOSE!
That’s it, if I get out of here alive and don’t become a sundae, I’m going to punish each and every one of my lab techs by spending one entire night alone in the cell with Mr.Pickles! They better hope he’s in a good mood!
If anyone is reading this and can get here to save me in time, bring lots of forks! EAT THIS STRAWBERRY! It’s ripe, it’s delicious and for some reason has a creamy smell. Who can resist a creamy ripe strawberry?!
HELP!
Flavor Profile: This flavor is one of three of our strawberry type flavors. This is more of a fresh strawberry and cream flavor with a very small hint of custard in the background. This flavor doesn’t really like high strengths, so it’s best at a 12mg or lower strength.
Review: When I first tested this flavor, it was very strawberry on the nose – which was a real pleasure for me. With the inhale you get a similar strawberry to the nose, but it’s as you take it in, and go through the exhale that you’re hit with a smooth creamy custard.
Honestly, I choked on my first take as it totally caught me by surprise – as neither custard nor cream are flavors I enjoy. That all being said, it was a very smooth custard and definitely creamy. The juxtaposition of the inhale and the exhale is certainly a remarkable surprise.
When I took my first tasting notes – I put “super strawberry on the nose”. And 70 days in, I had “super creamy on the nose”.
The takeaway is this: you’ll get a smooth, creamy, strawberry custard experience out of this vape – vape it early for a more strawberry taste, and let it steep for a much more custard flavor.
My Rating: 7.5/10. This is probably one of the higher ratings I’ve ever given a custard flavor – as the strawberry was very tasty, but I’m just not a custard person. If you like strawberries and custard – well, I’ve got Something Wicked to recommend you…
Flavor: Tropi-Candy
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/tropi-candy
Description: Tropi-CANDY is sweet and very much what you would think a tropical candy might taste like. It has strong notes of banana with subtle undertones of pineapple. Give this one a smell test when you get it because… well we catch ourselves smelling it quite often. It smells delicious!
UPDATE: A customer just nailed what this flavor is for us: WHITE GUMMY BEARS! Thank you sir, you were bang on!
Review: And just like another Evaperated customer has claimed – this tastes exactly like what White Gummy Bears taste like.
Not only does it taste like it, it smells like it, and is an easy all day vape. It reminds me of when I was a kid and would grab a fistful of tropical candies – and just be sitting there all night snacking away – not noticing that I had gone through a whole bowl of them. That’s kinda how it feels like vaping Tropi-candy.
The inhale and exhale are quite similar with the prominent flavor being pineapple. Hints of other fruits are detected along the way, but the only appropriate description I can have for them fruits is “tropical”.
Once again, an appropriately named juice from Evaperated.
My Rating: 8/10. Solid white gummy bear flavor that is an easy all-day vape.
Flavor: Tweaker
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/tweaker
Description: Well, summer is coming. Summer around the lab means experiments with cold things, edible things, drinkable things, and just an all over sense of unproductively in general. It’s hard keeping the lab techs in line when the warmer weather starts up as they all just want to sit back and enjoy themselves. HOW RUDE.
So this year, to trick them in to actually being productive WHILE allow them to think they are NOT being productive, I set them to work on a cure for addictions in general. I told them to make something that was SO GOOD that it would allow for addicts all over the world to get distracted by it and become addicted to IT and not whatever other substance they were addicted to.
I told them to infuse it with magical health benefits so that addict’s bodies would regenerate to become better than they were before their ‘other’ addictions tool hold of them.
The techs got to work and created something that tastes like a root beer float. Apparently they all love root beer floats and THEY wanted to be addicted to something that tasted like them.
However… after many weeks spent working on this little experiment, I came down in to the body of the lab from my upper observatory, and what did I see? Every single tech, and yes, even our resident werewolf Mr. Pickles, laying all over the lab, drooling on themselves and smiling. Sprawled out, happy, AND UNPRODUCTIVE!
I went and kicked Mr. Pickles and asked what happened. He lazily pointed to a big vat of this fluid that said ‘Tweaker’ on it. I gave it a smell, it smelled like Root Beer and vanilla and there was a note beside it that said ‘we’ve done it! we’ve created a cure for any other addiction! Now the world will be addicted to THIS and NOTHING ELSE!’ There was even a little scribbled ‘mwahaha’ afterwards, which I assume was added by Mr. Pickles.
I, being highly respectable, had no idea what ‘Tweaker’ meant. I ran upstairs to research the term and found that it was a slang term used to describe those that are addicted to meth. GREAT. Just great. Now we have Blue Sky, Bitch! which they created as a tribute to the meth from that blasted show Breaking Bad, AND we have another now that also pays tribute to meth.
What have I done….
Flavor Profile: A&W Root Beer float! Only this is the part of the float AFTER you’ve eaten the ice cream and there is a bit of root beer and melted vanilla ice cream left at the bottom that you drink. It’s creamy, it’s a bit bitey and it’s full on vanilla and root beer delight!
Review: We’ve really gotta give kudos to Evaperated for this flavor profiles. It was hilariously funny when I finally went to their site today to look at the description of Tweaker… because I already knew: Rootbeer float. And of course, I’ve never tried a Rootbeer flavor before, so it was certainly a pleasant surprise.
My tasting notes were rootbeer and vanilla. I was actually kind of shocked by the scent of the juice because it smelled like someone had just opened a can of rootbeer. Dumbfounded, I sniffed it for a few minutes before I was certain it was rootbeer. My immediate thought was, “who would want to vape rootbeer?” – that’s when I remembered, that’s because I don’t like rootbeer, lol.
But I have to say, this is absolutely what a rootbeer float would taste like. Very rootbeer on the inhale, creamy vanilla on the exhale – just like what a fresh rootbeer with a scoop of vanilla ice cream would taste like.
Even though it’s not my thing – well done, Evaperated!
My Rating: 8/10. Not my style, but dead-on with the flavor.
Flavor: Zephyr
Link: https://www.evaperated.com/products/zephyr
Description: A blend of milk chocolate and oranges, reminiscent of ‘Terry’s Orange’, but a little less potent. It’s very light and not too sweet. There is a very slight minty note somewhere, dancing among the other flavours. It adds an extra bit of depth, and makes for a refreshing vape.
Review: Mint, chocolate, orange goodness and yes, it tastes exactly like Terry’s Mint Chocolate Orange Ball.
The orange menthol is quite evident on the nose with a hint of something creamy in the background. But it’s on the inhale that you really taste the flavors to its fullest and the exhale is when you get the smooth chocolate vibe. I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of the crisp orange mint on the intro and the smooth chocolate on the outro.
As someone who enjoys 1) fruits, 2) menthol, and 3) complex juices, this one was a winner for me. It was my all day vape for quite a few weekends and something I’d be happy to pick up anytime.
My Rating: 9/10. Surprisingly accurate flavor and nice blend between crisp and smooth.
CONCLUSION
This was by far the most immersive and hardcore review I’ve ever done. And honestly, I didn’t know if I was ready to go so deep into a line of juice. What if I hated it? That would have been trouble, lol.
Thankfully, I thoroughly enjoyed Evaperated’s line of juices – and I’ll always be watching out for their new flavors and descriptions for their juices.
I have to reiterate that I’m truly very impressed with the level of depth and attention to detail that Sadie and team have put into their brand and their offerings. Every juice felt like a journey and reading up on the descriptions AFTER I’ve tasted them was truly like reading a book after watching the movie. It was pretty awesome.
Much love to Evaperated Artisan and cheers to a Great Canadian E-liquid brand.